I got to train with Brighton’s roller derby team. Not many men can say that, and that’s why I love being a journalist.

““I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who’s gone to their first game and hasn’t said, ‘It was amazing but I didn’t have a fucking clue what was going on,’” admits Hairy Fairy.

Basically it goes something like this. There’s a jammer on each team that has to lap the pack of blockers. It’s the pack’s job to help their own jammer while slowing down the opposing jammer, as for every opposing blocker the jammers pass they get a point. So far, so simple, but the packs can’t be split by more than ten feet, which makes roller derby extremely tactile. The two minute jams are rarely a race and players have to be very aware of what’s going on to not pick up penalties. There are 40 pages of rules to abide by.

“You learn to skate, you learn to skate together, you learn to fall, a lot, and then hit each other,” explains Rose Bleed. “And then finally when you put it all together then you have to learn how to play.””